Depression is not just feeling sad or down; it is a misunderstood silent battle for millions of people.
How many times have you heard or even commented; that depression isn’t real? just go out more or stop being sad?
Ask a person dealing with depression if any of this advice works, and you’ll join a list of people who don’t understand them.
This is simply because it manifests both emotionally and physically, affecting people differently, and that’s a fact.
We don’t always know the exact reasons why some people get depressed. Depression can become a reality for people because of genes, environment, or psychological factors, either individually or in combination.
The symptoms are merely what the psychiatrist needs to know to prescribe medication. The way a person deals with the symptoms is another battle altogether.
While you might be familiar with symptoms like persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, fatigue, and feelings of worthlessness or guilt, there is something more sinister about depression.
Just like a narcissist seeks self-centered attention and can be manipulative, depression can consume a person’s thoughts and emotions, leading them to withdraw from social interactions and relationships.
Friends and family may genuinely struggle to understand the depth of their pain, but the feeling that “nobody can understand me” exacerbates the loneliness, making them feel they are alone and there is no point in reaching out. Now that sounds scary, isn’t it?
Your mind plays games with you, making you believe that the things you need to do to get better are beyond your control.
So now we know the crisis and the challenge we face in solving it. What are our options?
Simply put, through understanding, empathy, and support, we can help those struggling with depression to know they are not alone and that there is a path toward a brighter tomorrow.
But saying it in a line doesn’t help, does it?
Let’s do a deep dive into one real example to explain how you can also work with depression.
Initially, Alex (a client) reached out to me as she was tired of her family dynamics and the situation that arose because of it, her failed relationships, and work that brought no excitement. She mentioned she wants to see if therapy would work.
Which in reality meant, “I know it won’t work, but if I try and you fail as a counselor, the blame is not on me.”
Can you feel the narcissistic nature of depression through this?
It is so confident about its hold on Alex, that there is a sense of challenge in the statement. Of course, Alex had no idea at the time what she was implying.
After two sessions, she said, “I am so lost, I hate everything. Instagram posts only make me feel like everything in the world is fine except for me. And because of some unknown reason, I am convinced that my life can’t be any better. I will have to suffer. I can’t be happy for long even when I get a promotion because it will be taken away.”
At the moment when she gets a promotion and would have otherwise escaped depression for a little while, depression had gotten her for good. It had convinced her that feeling a certain way is her truth.
That’s what the first call meant. I know it won’t work! But at least no blame on me for not trying.
It's so difficult to describe depression to someone who's never been there because it's not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it's that cold absence of feeling—that really hollowed-out feeling
This was just one example of what the struggles are like for those battling depression. Each person will show you unique challenges they face, and how loneliness impacts their lives.
You need to remember two things about dealing with depression:
- Every person is different and has a unique life that they have to navigate through.
- The subjectivity of the experiences in life and how one deals with them defines how things shape up for them.
These are hard facts! Yet, we have the freedom to choose every second what we engage with.
No matter how difficult it is, breaking the isolation healthily is key in dealing with depression.
We need to create relationships that are supportive, loving, caring, and motivating.
Can you recall a time you were genuinely happy with the interaction you were having with people? A sense of warmth and security. That’s the feeling that allows us to look beyond our immediate situation; it allows us to see through ourselves from the issues.
Depression can be overwhelming to deal with on your own. That’s why we need immediate help sometimes. When you find yourself in a situation that might prove to be dangerous and you need immediate support, don’t hesitate and contact a 24*7 helpline.
You need to build connections that will help you. You also need to reach out to trained professionals, as people around us want good for us, but they don’t always know what good means or even how to deliver it to us.
World Health Organisation
An estimated 3.8% of the population experience depression, including 5% of adults (4% among men and 6% among women), and 5.7% of adults older than 60 years. Approximately 280 million people in the world have depression (1). Depression is about 50% more common among women than among men. Worldwide, more than 10% of pregnant women and women who have just given birth experience depression (2). More than 700 000 people die due to suicide every year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in 15–29-year-olds.
Seeking help from a trained professional will allow you to work with yourself by collaborating with someone who has the knowledge, experience, and credibility in providing you with the best help possible.
There are numerous things a therapist can help you with ranging from non-judgemental support different to therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy, narrative therapy, and transactional therapy to helpful strategies which have proven to be effective in alleviating symptoms.
Alex was able to recognize the impact of her past, but more importantly she was able to understand her own patterns and come up with strategies that helped her change the narrative.
That’s how impactful therapy can be.
If you feel you might have depression Take the Depression self-assessment test here.
It will help you gain some perspective even before you have met a trained professional.
It will help you understand yourself and get the help you need. All the best.
Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together, we can break the chains of depression and embrace hope for a better tomorrow.
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